It is 1949 at Edwards Air Force Base in California. Capt. Edward Murphy is an engineer working on a project to see how much sudden deceleration a person can stand in a crash. After discovering that a transducer was wired wrong, Capt. Murphy curses the technician responsible for the error and says, “If there is any way to do it wrong, he’ll find it.”

The contractor’s project manager, listening nearby, is keeping a list of similar adages and calls this one “Murphy’s Law.”

Similar philosophies have existed for years, but since 1949 the position that “anything that can go wrong will” has since been attributed to Murphy — the Father of Murphy’s Law.

Though I am generally an optimist, I subscribe to Murphy’s Law. Stuff happens, you know!

Today there is an entire system of laws built on Murphy’s. For your consideration —

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.

Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.

Murphy’s Laws include things we have all learned in daily life, sometimes the hard way —

Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he’ll have to touch to be sure.

You never find a lost article until you replace it.

No matter how long or how hard you shop for an item, after you’ve bought it, it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.

If you’re feeling good, don’t worry. You’ll get over it.

The light you see at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train.

Murphy’s philosophy has been extended to a much wider area of life. For instance, here are a few of Murphy’s Love Laws —

Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

When a man’s wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.

Then there are Murphy’s Computer Laws —

A part dropped from the workbench will roll to a degree of unreachability proportional to its importance.

Most computer errors can be attributed to a similar problem — a screw loose behind the keyboard.

Murphy’s Commerce and Workplace Laws are interesting —

A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the pants.

Everything costs more than the estimates.

After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.

The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.

The job you want is well-paying, interesting, fun, rewarding, conveniently located or attainable. Pick one.

Having spent some time working with law enforcement officers, I can attest to the validity of Murphy’s Laws on Cops —

When a civilian sees a red light approaching at a high rate of speed, he will always pull into the lane the cop needs to use.

Domestic arguments will always migrate from an area of few available weapons (living room) to an area with many available weapons (kitchen.)

You will be flagged down by a citizen when you are on your way to the PD with a bad case of diarrhea.

There are even Murphy’s Mother Laws —

The motherly advice you ignore will always turn out to be the best advice she ever gave you.

If you think you have any secrets from your mother, remember who changed your diapers.

No matter how much you eat, you can never get so fat that your mother will not offer you more food.

You don’t have to be a pessimist to believe in Murphy’s Law — just a realist.

Oh yes, there is also O’Toole’s Commentary on Murphy’s Laws: Murphy was an optimist.

Arvid Huisman can be contacted at huismaniowa@gmail.com. © 2024 by Huisman Communications.